This post considers the meaning of the word “better.” I wrote this after doing a presentation on Polarity Therapy for a spiritual discussion group. I explained that the goal of healing work in Polarity is to help people feel better – more grounded, balanced, and in alignment with their higher self. A member of the group asked if describing one kind of experience as “better” than another one didn’t indicate an ego-based judgment. I could see his point. How can anybody judge what’s better for someone else? After all, we’re all equal in Spirit. Who is to say what’s really “better”?
The answer is that there are two kinds of “better.” If you say that a certain individual feels “better than others,” this means that the person is arrogant or believes he or she is superior. This is how “better” is used in advertising – to suggest an increased value or worth of something relative to something else: “Our product is better than their product.” This use of “better” is really a two-step process, because one item must be shown to have more quality while other items are proven to be not as good. This “better” requires judgment according to an outside standard.
However, there is another kind of “better” that takes place entirely on the inside. This “better” merely points to a personal preference or sense of improvement. For example, if you like red apples better than green ones, there is not a judgment, only choice. If you are hungry and tired, but feel better after eating and taking a nap, there is no judgment, only relief. There is only judgment if you believe that in order to be fond of a certain kind of apple or to enjoy being rested and well-fed you must criticize all other kinds of experiences as wrong.
You can’t judge one life experience as “better” than another – either when comparing someone else’s life to yours or in reviewing your own life in hindsight. However, you can observe your life moment to moment to know if you’re on track and headed in a direction that you like. In healing work, the rubber meets the road with how good you feel and how well your life works now. Ultimately, your experience is completely subjective and the only person who can say if you “feel better” or not is you.